I just posted a comment on the "All Men Are Liars" blog which talked about the lack of initiation rituals for boys to become men, and the fact that as a result so many adults still behave like kids. It was a bit longer than I had planned, so I'm posting it here as well.
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It's not the ritual that's important, it's what the boy has to learn in order to go through the ritual. The ritual is just recognition from the rest of the group that the boy has learned that -- it also usually came with certain rights, men could take part in society in a way that boys couldn't.
Sam, you said: "I can't think of any organisations that offer moral and spiritual guidance to boys, where they're taught the secret wisdom of men, shepherded into higher levels of knowledge and awareness "from a diffuse identity to a more consolidated and structured identity", as Gillette and Moore call it."
For me, this organisation was Scouts. It's become very popular to denigrate Scouts as an organisation, but it's the biggest organisation that teaches responsibility, teamwork, initiative, leadership, and all the other things that boys need to learn in order to become men, and which aren't taught in schools.
It taught me responsibility for myself (when hiking and camping you are dependent upon yourself), and responsibility for others (since most activities are done in a patrol, where everybody needs to pitch in to do something well). Obviously since most of the activities are in patrols teamwork is very important and learned early. There's a lot of emphasis on activities that require initiative, and beyond that as the boys get older they are more and more responsible for organising the activities themselves. And as the boys get older they take on a leadership role with the younger boys.
As for rituals, there are several. Moving up through the different sections (Cubs, Scouts, Venturers, Rovers) involves a ritual, and normally a "link badge" which helps the boy understand how the following section is different. Each section helps to guide and care for the ones below it, as well as to do service in the general community. By the time Rovers (18-26) comes around the whole point is doing service for the movement and society. It doesn't always work out that way, of course, but even the guys who only turn up to camps to drink know how to pull their weight when they need to.
Then there's the stuff that's not part of the organisation, but is inevitable. You learn not to whinge and be a cry-baby -- on a 60 km 3 day hike you learn pretty quickly that complaining about your sore feet or hills doesn't score any points with your mates.
I found myself answering "Scouts" to many questions posed by my peers when I was in my twenties. When going to Rotary courses or other self-improvement course, they'd ask "Where else do you learn this stuff?" Scouts.
At uni they'd join bushwalking clubs or rockclimbing clubs or abseiling clubs or whatever, and ask "Where else can you do this?" Scouts.
They'd go on student exchanges and ask "Where else can you meet people from other parts of the world?" Scouts. Scouts have a lot of national and international events that are visited by people from all over the world, and of course you can visit these events in other countries. In fact, I met my wife and the World Rover Moot in Mexico in 2000.
I don't mean to turn this into a panagyric to Scouts, but it does answer your question. There are organisations out there but you and many others dismiss them without knowing anything about them. The fact is that most of the "men" I know (not all, but most), the men that offer a hand when it's needed without being asked, who take responsibility for their lives and for getting things done, who treat others with respect (including women, of course), who work out what they want to do and then do it...most of these men were scouts.
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